Wow. Major Paradigm Shift
Dec. 12th, 2002 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kadollanWell. My life is about to do a major shift. Here's the deal: I've been seriously considering quitting my job for a while now. I want to be a haus frau...do the baking cookies and vacuuming in my pearls and heels thing (okay, not *really*). I've been debating back and forth the pros and cons...
And it looks like my hand is about to be forced. I just got my evaluation for the year, and for the very first time ever it *sucks* (okay, so I got a couple of "not-so-greats"...comparatively it sucks) and HR wants to reduce my position back down from 80% to 50%. Dr. Montgomery (the dean of the Honors College) is seriously unamused, and he's been a right bastard lately anyway. The major problem is stemming from "excessive absenteeism". I have three children, and between my being sick, their being sick, lice
And it looks like my hand is about to be forced. I just got my evaluation for the year, and for the very first time ever it *sucks* (okay, so I got a couple of "not-so-greats"...comparatively it sucks) and HR wants to reduce my position back down from 80% to 50%. Dr. Montgomery (the dean of the Honors College) is seriously unamused, and he's been a right bastard lately anyway. The major problem is stemming from "excessive absenteeism". I have three children, and between my being sick, their being sick, lice
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Well. My life is about to do a major shift. Here's the deal: I've been seriously considering quitting my job for a while now. I want to be a haus frau...do the baking cookies and vacuuming in my pearls and heels thing (okay, not *really*). I've been debating back and forth the pros and cons...
And it looks like my hand is about to be forced. I just got my evaluation for the year, and for the very first time ever it *sucks* (okay, so I got a couple of "not-so-greats"...comparatively it sucks) and HR wants to reduce my position back down from 80% to 50%. Dr. Montgomery (the dean of the Honors College) is seriously unamused, and he's been a right bastard lately anyway. The major problem is stemming from "excessive absenteeism". I have three children, and between my being sick, their being sick, lice <yetch!!!!>, and ennui, the plain fact is I am *not* working as much as I should be. So, have I subconsciously fucked myself to force my own hand?
I hope not, because here's the thing: I want to be a haus frau because that's the path I've chosen, *not* because I've been fired or forced to quit because I'm a fuck-up or a failure.
So, I have to spin this to myself in such a way that I'm quitting as a matter of choice. I used to be really good at my job. I'm not anymore, and its not because I'm lacking in any basic skills. It's because I don't give a good god-damn. I don't *want* to be here. I resent the time I'm spending here that I can't be doing what I'd rather be doing.
Here's the spin: my husband and I have come to a place in our financial lives where I have the freedom to choose whether or not to work. We have three children (two of whom are still toddlers/babies) and they all three would benefit from having a mother who is more actively involved in their parenting. So, I quit because I want to. The fact that HR has noticed that I'm not minding my Ps and Qs should serve only as notice that I have already made my decision. I am *not* a failure (dammit) I have just readjusted my priorities to the point that my life is now adjusting itself to keep up.
This past Monday I spent my day off cleaning and decorating for Christmas. I was home when Rhiannon (my 8 year old) got home from school. She kept saying how exciting it was to have the house cleaned and decorated, and to have me home from work and in a good mood. She repeated it enough times that I realized she has been *really* missing something.
So....now the only question is, how do I keep working until January?!?!?
And it looks like my hand is about to be forced. I just got my evaluation for the year, and for the very first time ever it *sucks* (okay, so I got a couple of "not-so-greats"...comparatively it sucks) and HR wants to reduce my position back down from 80% to 50%. Dr. Montgomery (the dean of the Honors College) is seriously unamused, and he's been a right bastard lately anyway. The major problem is stemming from "excessive absenteeism". I have three children, and between my being sick, their being sick, lice <yetch!!!!>, and ennui, the plain fact is I am *not* working as much as I should be. So, have I subconsciously fucked myself to force my own hand?
I hope not, because here's the thing: I want to be a haus frau because that's the path I've chosen, *not* because I've been fired or forced to quit because I'm a fuck-up or a failure.
So, I have to spin this to myself in such a way that I'm quitting as a matter of choice. I used to be really good at my job. I'm not anymore, and its not because I'm lacking in any basic skills. It's because I don't give a good god-damn. I don't *want* to be here. I resent the time I'm spending here that I can't be doing what I'd rather be doing.
Here's the spin: my husband and I have come to a place in our financial lives where I have the freedom to choose whether or not to work. We have three children (two of whom are still toddlers/babies) and they all three would benefit from having a mother who is more actively involved in their parenting. So, I quit because I want to. The fact that HR has noticed that I'm not minding my Ps and Qs should serve only as notice that I have already made my decision. I am *not* a failure (dammit) I have just readjusted my priorities to the point that my life is now adjusting itself to keep up.
This past Monday I spent my day off cleaning and decorating for Christmas. I was home when Rhiannon (my 8 year old) got home from school. She kept saying how exciting it was to have the house cleaned and decorated, and to have me home from work and in a good mood. She repeated it enough times that I realized she has been *really* missing something.
So....now the only question is, how do I keep working until January?!?!?
